Mõistust jätkub,
hetkeks vaid.
Siis ka ootan,
hetki paremaid.

Võimust võtab,
vari nii tume.
Katab ära,
rõõmsama jume.

Uhtub kõik,
lootus läinud.
Jätkan teed,
millel varem käinud.

Üdini öös,
mina.
Üksinda,
varjude vahel.

Vaikin,
samas karjun.
Pole kahju,
see on tüüpiline.

Endasse upun,
kaon.
Oma mõtteisse,
fantaasiasse.

Drift away,
from here.
For what I once called home,
just a memory so mere.

Ready to leave,
I'm clear.
I don't care where,
just not near.

But shackled I am,
to this life of ours.
To break free,
is to not count the hours.

A walking corpse,
death,
I exhume.
Leaving behind,
a trail long,
made of ash.
Move silent,
I do,
like wind.
Destination none,
I have,
only the path of sin.

Minimalism

Fire,
wild.
Crackling,
mild.

Rain,
cold.
Steadily,
bold.

Night,
deep.
Forgetting,
sleep.

Down and out,
feeling blue.
Craving something,
about to be due.

Following shadows,
which cannot be explained.
Walking a path,
where it recently rained.

The paranoia,
never leaves.
Stays within,
and grieves.

Fell asleep,
Saw a dream.
Nothing but,
Hearing you scream.

A nightmare,
It had been.
Excruciating,
Nothing I’d ever seen.

Woke up,
Teary eyed.
Cold sweat pouring,
As I cried.

Forget what is,
inside.
Take them all,
and hide.

Lay down,
blind.
Make no sound,
a broken mind.

Fall asleep,
dead.
Never awake,
it's in my head.

a shadow of gray,
in the sky.
starts to fray,
to tear.

a dainty bottle of wine,
between my fingers.
soothing me fine,
'til void.

a flickering candle,
accompaning me.
to music i dandle,
spending these nights.

udu,
see lummav udu.
õrn ja mattev,
ei mina selles tudu.

selles ma ekslen,
ning kaon.
väljapääsu pole,
taevast ma taon.

äkki langeb vihm,
mu õlgadele.
nüüd kindel,
öö on imeline.

The darkness of the night,
soothing my sobbing soul.
Never done anything right,
only dig myself a deeper hole.

The sounds of the night,
making me feel paranoid.
End it all I might,
my mind in a state so void.

I light a match,
a figure I see.
All I do is stand and watch,
staring at the doppelganger of me.

Nähes langevat tähte..

Moving through the clouds,
Into the horizon so far.
My eyes, fixed onto it,
The rare shooting star.

So it falls,
Quiet and modest.
Nowhere to be found again,
Its’ time to rest.

Close my eyes,
A wish I make.
Hope for it to come true,
So from this nightmare I’d wake.

VIIMASED READ MINEVIKUST

1


Unepuuduses vaeveldes, leian end iga õhtu,
vaja pole palju, ainult puhast õhku.
Hing, miks kurbusest täiened,
kaastunne, jälle sa hilined.

Pole palju vaja, et murda mind,
niivõinii mõtted täis on sind.
Igatsus naaseb päris ruttu,
siis hoian tagasi pikka nuttu.

Olles üksi, ennast haletsedes,
ei märka muutust enam ilmades.
Lootust on, et rahu leiab,
siis olen mina see, kes kindlalt seisab.

2 

Far away from peace,

I want the pain to cease.

Please, give me a chance,

I want to have this last dance.

Endings aren't supposed to be hard,

or make me feel like a retard.

But that's how I shall remain,

to keep me from going insane.

When I call, answer kindly,

I talk like before, very open-mindly.

If you reject me again,

I don't want to imagine the amount of pain,

I will have to suffer.

3

Why did I let it change me,

never can I now be completely free.

Every time I think about it,

my mind just goes to shit.

I had almost forgotten the taste of pain,

now I feel like crying in the rain.

I have to let this out,

just need to scream and shout.

This experience has made me wise,

to make me realise,

I hate myself.

4

lahkudes siit,

jättes maha kõik.

purunes see igavene liit,

lõpetamata jääb jutulõik.

leides end,

üksinda endiseast,

sinu jaoks ma vaid,

vaatleja esireast.

öövaikuse saatel,

endasse tõmbun,

et iial naasta.

5

jätkem end,

saatuse rüppe.

siis me näe,

kuidas kulgeb me elulend.

leidkem see,

mida otsida annab.

kindlaks jäägem endile,

varsti keegi teine me muret kannab.

tahtejõudu suurendades,

võimalikuks saab,

kõik mis iial lootnud oleme.

6

take my hand,

well float away.

hold me tight,

it would make my day.

the thought of ending my life,

stays in my head.

wonder what you will become,

after i am dead.

teary eyed, 

I pass out each night.

what I wouldn't do,

to not've had that fight.

please, all I want,

is to be with you,

but do that, we can't.

7

Seeing the sun, shining in the sky,

making me wonder when I'm going to die.

The clouds are gone, they're not there,

but the icy cold and snow is everywhere.

The winter breeze, a touch so tender,

oh I wish it would return to the sender.

My only request is viciously sweet,

that the sun and cold never again meet.

8

For all that it's worth,

I should've died at birth.

Then I wouldn't be sad,

never would've made anybody mad.

Sorry to all the lost souls,

you had big roles.

Forget about this disgrace of man,

leave me out of your lifes plan.

9

Mäletan elu ilma mureta,

see hell mu vastu oli.

Kõik nii ilus siis veel tundus,

mõtetele andsin ma vaba voli.

Olles kaotand’ selle kõik,

mõistsin mina, kaugel võit.

Muserdav argipäev, miks sa pead,

leidma minus kõik mu vead.

Morniks muutub alati tuju,

parata ma sinna ei saa.

Elu, miks sa enam ei suju,

kaevad üles mõttemaa.

10

My wounds are deep,

can't get any sleep.

All I do is weep,

all our memories I keep.

Trying to move along,

listening to our song.

Living life wrong,

sadness stretched too long.

Coping with this pain,

nothing to gain.

Crying in the rain,

laying in painful vain.

A never-ending path,

unexpected wrath.

Tears fill the bath,

this is the aftermath.

A big price I paid,

onto the railroad I laid.

I'm a worthless maid,

who needs a ton of aid.

Myself is all I hate,

the hour is once again late.

Death is my certain fate,

but also a freedom gate.

Fucked up, I let myself get,

treating me as a household pet.

I can make a bet,

tears make my pillow wet.

Torn apart, burnt to ash,

an object for people to smash.

Left me a eternal gash,

no where left to dash.

My body icy cold,

covered with sickening mold.

Not a single ounce of gold,

worthless I am, I have been told.

This soul, finds its' end,

once there's nothing left to mend.

A letter then I have to send,

rules I will bend.

11

The spirits gather,

from my past.

My mind would rather,

stand in the line as the last.

There, they would observe,

how does he have the nerve.

To stand in a line, how could he,

where he does not belong to be.

They shout, they scream,

let out excess steam.

Order me to go away,

not to go their way.

I do, like always,

what I'm told.

Waiting for the days,

where it isn't so cold.

12

suletud värav mu sisimas,

avada ei oska.

tunded seal, soojemas,

põgeneda ei soovi.

13

living in a world so tragic,

disbelief in all kinds of magic.

every soul has something to borrow,

ending in a lifetime of sorrow.

tears cover my face,

body shivers.

my mind has no space,

for the flowing emotional rivers.

Bleeding all the time,
It never ends.
These cuts never fade,
Sad messages it sends.

Alcohol, my one true love,
Always by my side.
Numbing the pain,
Taking me for another ride.

So leave me be,
I won’t care.
You will feel much better,
If my pain you don’t have to bear.